The issue of control

I have always struggled with the thought of who is ultimately in control.

Is God in control or am I?

If God is in control, then God is the author of suffering. If i’m fully in control of my life then God is absent and I’m left to my own devices. On top of this, if i'm suffering (while being in control) then i'm a masochist. Hopeless and abandoned. Both of these are scary thoughts.

Another option is that its a case of “sort of” 50/50. God helps out now and again. I’m partly in control and God is partly in control. but his too is problematic. This still means that God authors suffering by not helping out the other 50% of the time. This can also paint him as cruel.

What if it's that God helps out and answers prayers only when i’m a good boy? And if something bad happens while I’m a good boy then there must have been some hidden ‘sin’ in my life. Or God is using suffering to teach me a lesson. But this goes diametrically against the gospel.

I think the answer is much simpler. 

Who is in control? It’s not either or, its both and. It’s no longer the case that God is over there and I’m over here;  I make some decisions and God makes some. The man upstairs who helps out now and again when he feels like it and the victims of the hard life down below. 

Its that there is no longer any separation between me and God. (John 17) Our natural minds like to think in “binary terms” either / or, In / out, Yes / No. But beyond our minds lies our spirits...

Isn’t this what the gospel reveals? God becomes man. The infinite embodies the temporal. The all powerful dressed up in the frail. The God-man. And all of us were adopted into that divine family. We are no longer mere humans but “new creations”, "co-airs" with Christ. 

To the extent that I realise this truth my life will get a radical upgrade.

I can then no longer blame God (or myself) but realise that in the same way that I’m a “co-air” with Christ, I’m also a co-creator. A creator has the ability to decide and create. To call things out of thin air into existence. 

Life and troubles happen, yes, but as one in union with Christ, life and death does not have the final say.

If our starting point is separation from God then we end up broken and bitter. Blaming a distant Deity for its failures, But if our starting point is union with God then we are forced to discover who we truly are. 

The Contract God vs the Covenant God

The contract God says: I will do this for you IF you do this for me. If you don't keep your part, neither will I.

The covenant God says: I will keep my part, even though you do not. (This is the nature of a covenant)

The contract God is all about the legality of your relationship whilst the covenant God is all about His love for you. (Even if you don't love him back)

The contract God is never pleased and is waiting for you to fail, while the covenant God is not affected by your mistakes.

A contract can be broken (with consequences from the offending party's side), this covenant not.

For those who do not know - a double sided covenant was made between God and the representative of the human race - Jesus. This covenant was made without our approval or adherence to it while fully representing us in every way. Jesus became the mediator of this new covenant on behalf of the human race. A covenant of unbroken relationship, perfect in love.

This covenant was not made with me or with you, it was crafted between God and the Son of God (who represents me and you). My faith did not and does not make the covenant happen, rather I participate by faith in this already existing graceful covenant.

I cannot break it, seeing that it was not made with me, but...I can be miss out and be misled by not knowing what I am already apart of... I can focus on myself and beat myself up for failing of become prideful of my accomplishments before God -all for nothing...

No... It's all about God crafting an unbreakable covenant on my behalf, apart from my performance, fully including and representing me, leading me ever deeper into resting in the finality, beauty and perfection of a done deal.