The issue of control

I have always struggled with the thought of who is ultimately in control.

Is God in control or am I?

If God is in control, then God is the author of suffering. If i’m fully in control of my life then God is absent and I’m left to my own devices. On top of this, if i'm suffering (while being in control) then i'm a masochist. Hopeless and abandoned. Both of these are scary thoughts.

Another option is that its a case of “sort of” 50/50. God helps out now and again. I’m partly in control and God is partly in control. but his too is problematic. This still means that God authors suffering by not helping out the other 50% of the time. This can also paint him as cruel.

What if it's that God helps out and answers prayers only when i’m a good boy? And if something bad happens while I’m a good boy then there must have been some hidden ‘sin’ in my life. Or God is using suffering to teach me a lesson. But this goes diametrically against the gospel.

I think the answer is much simpler. 

Who is in control? It’s not either or, its both and. It’s no longer the case that God is over there and I’m over here;  I make some decisions and God makes some. The man upstairs who helps out now and again when he feels like it and the victims of the hard life down below. 

Its that there is no longer any separation between me and God. (John 17) Our natural minds like to think in “binary terms” either / or, In / out, Yes / No. But beyond our minds lies our spirits...

Isn’t this what the gospel reveals? God becomes man. The infinite embodies the temporal. The all powerful dressed up in the frail. The God-man. And all of us were adopted into that divine family. We are no longer mere humans but “new creations”, "co-airs" with Christ. 

To the extent that I realise this truth my life will get a radical upgrade.

I can then no longer blame God (or myself) but realise that in the same way that I’m a “co-air” with Christ, I’m also a co-creator. A creator has the ability to decide and create. To call things out of thin air into existence. 

Life and troubles happen, yes, but as one in union with Christ, life and death does not have the final say.

If our starting point is separation from God then we end up broken and bitter. Blaming a distant Deity for its failures, But if our starting point is union with God then we are forced to discover who we truly are.